What Would You Have Me Do?

The other day, I had a breakthrough. Well, to be quite honest, I feel like I have breakthroughs multiple times per day, but this one really touched my heart.

I woke up with a yearning in my heart to go outside. My husband only had about 25 minutes before he had to go to work, so I hurriedly put on my workout clothes and tennis shoes and ran out the door. I just felt like I needed a few minutes to be alone, in the gorgeous warmth of summer and to reconnect with my Father in Heaven.

I knew what route I wanted to go, but I didn't know if I could do it in time if I strictly walked. I am not a runner. And by that I mean, I really really dislike running. Like, I despise it. I have run a couple of relay races in the past hoping that I would be converted to running, but to no avail. But, desperate times call for desperate measures.

I started at a brisk walk and began to pray. I have come to find that if I speak as if I am speaking to a close friend, I feel a much stronger connection to Heavenly Father. I began telling Him what was going on in my life, what my hopes and dreams were, and in which ways I wanted to succeed. I listed all of the things I wanted to be better at and to improve upon. I talked about how much I love my family and my husband and how thankful I am for them in my life.

I talked about how beautiful His plan is and that I find it amusing that I always think that "my way" is better than His. I acknowledged and expressed gratitude for how He always gently and lovingly shows me that His plan is much better. I felt that we were both smiling.

I glanced at the time and realized I needed to pick up my pace. I began to jog.

I continued my prayer and was completely immersed in a conversation with Him. I felt that He was proud of me for trying my best and for making good choices. I felt that He was happy that I was happy. I felt His love wash over me.

After asking Him for many blessings and the desires of my heart, I suddenly thought "How silly of me! Here I am asking for all of these amazing things and telling you what I want in order to be happier and I haven't once asked what You would have me do. I'm sorry about that! So what is it, Father, that You would have me do today? What is the most important thing on my checklist?"

The answers came quickly:

The first thing was to "be present" with my children.

The second was to serve my husband.

And the third was to serve a friend.

"Ok, I can do that!" My heart was willed with hope and a desire to fulfill what the Lord had asked me to do. At that moment I had realized that I had run more than half of my route!

Not only was I able to connect with my Father in Heaven and learn a valuable lesson of how much He truly loves me, is aware of me, and wants what's best for me, He also helped me to overcome the mental block I have against running. For the first time IN MY LIFE, I wasn't self-defeating and self-destructive on my run. I wasn't beating myself up for what I couldn't do or how I wasn't like all of my cool friends who like to run. I wasn't discouraged by how far I didn't run, I was encouraged by how far I did run.

I came home with such peace and joy in my heart and I needed it because the rest of the day didn't go exactly how I planned (another post on that soon). But most importantly, I came home with a renewed knowledge and testimony of how up close and personal our Heavenly Father truly is. He is always with us. We have only to open our hearts to Him.