A Change in Nature

Remember that last post where I referred to this amazing book that I am reading? Well, the time has come for me to explain a little more about this book. It really is life changing.

He Did Deliver Me From Bondage (H.D.D.M.F.B.) is one of the books the LDS Addiction Recovery Program (A.R.P) uses to help people, well, overcome addiction. It is specifically written for people of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That being said, anyone can read it and apply it to their lives. It refers often to scripture, especially the Book of Mormon. I will tell you now, it is really amazing. It has begun to open my eyes to the completeness of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and has strengthened my testimony of Jesus Christ as my Redeemer.

(Phew! I am beginning to feel anxious because this is kind of a heavy topic, but one that I feel I need to share.)

I cannot simply summarize the book in one simple blog post, but I can tell you about one aspect of the book that has been working on my mind and heart the past few days. I read a section of the book entitled Benjamin's Promises and it talks about the things we need to do to build a relationship with God and the results of said relationship. There is a lot of gold in this portion of the book, but I believe that it is individual and personalized as we study it with the companionship of the Holy Ghost; but one particular part caught my attention and I felt it would be appropriate to share with you.

One of the results that comes from building a relationship with God is that our natures will be changed, "Ye will not have a mind to injure one another." (Mosiah 4:13, The Book of Mormon.) The author of H.D.D.M.F.B. writes: "Our dispositions will be changed. We will have no desire to do evil (to ourselves or others) but will desire to do good continually. It was this change that brought me to a place where I did not have to count calories, or restrain a voracious appetitie. As long as I put God first, I simply had no more desire to hurt myself with food; I ceased to overeat and thus lost weight." (Harrison, Colleen C. He Did Deliver Me from Bondage. Pleasant Grove, UT: Windhaven, 2002. Print; emphasis added.)

I had never thought of it this way that I could be hurting myself with food. I will be the first to admit that I am an emotional eater. If I am happy, I want to celebrate by eating. If I am sad, I want to mourn by eating. If I am bored, I want to entertain myself by eating. I always just thought of food as an answer to my problems not necessarily as a tool to injure myself.

As I thought about this more and more, I realized that there have been countless times in my life that I have eaten myself to feeling sick. There have been times when I have let go of all self-restraint and just packed it in. During those few moments of enjoying the pleasure of food, I have been distracted from the pains and sorrows of this life, but as soon as I stop eating, those feelings come flooding back and I just feel heavy both physically and spiritually.

I didn't really understand that I was hurting myself, especially my spirit. Once this lightbulb flicked on for me, my perspective was completely different. My attitude towards food changed. Over the past several days, I have noticed that I can finally hear what my body is telling me it needs versus what it just wants. My cravings are significantly diminished. My desire to fill my time with productive things has increased. So many positive things are happening for me because of this new understanding.

There is an increase of peace in both my heart and my home. My countenance is changing. I can see it when I look in the mirror. As my relationship with God improves, my love for myself and others increases. I can feel a deeper love for both my Father in Heaven and my brother, Jesus Christ.

If you are seeking a spiritual answer to a physical or earthly compulsion or addiction, I highly recommend this book! It is written in a 12-Step format which, for me, is less intimidating. It helps me to know that I have time to work through this change and process and that I don't have to rush through it.

Thanks for reading this post if you made it all the way to the end! I have debated on whether or not to write something so personal to me, but I felt inspired to share and hope that you have benefitted in some way!

(P.S. You may be asking why I chose that particular picture to go along with this post. I have a good reason. This picture was taken during a time in my life when I felt good emotionally and spiritually. I was fun, spontaneous and really enjoyed life. I can feel myself returning to that state through this process. This picture reminds me of the kind of person I want to be again.)

#religious #addiction #addictionrecovery #compulsiveeating #compulsions #LDS #TheChurchofJesusChristofLatterDaySaints #Mormon #changeofheart